I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
