How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
