Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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