If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
