I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
