You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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