Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
