wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
