Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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