i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
