Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
