i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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