at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
