just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
