508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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