Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
