My first STD was from a foam party
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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