Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
