I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
