do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
