What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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