Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
