Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
