i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
