??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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