Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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