you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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