Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
