called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
