i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
