I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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