I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
