I must be too annoying 4 u.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
