Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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