It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
