I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
