"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
