toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
