let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
