I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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