so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
