i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
