So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
