Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
