The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
