so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
