Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This can only be settled by a dance off.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
