... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
