Who wears a wallet chain?!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
