and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
