So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
