What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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