No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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